Summer started with the re-realization of how much God loves Chesapeake. Every time I come home I am reminded how much we are loved and admired and blessed through our community. Sheville (our girl time once a week where we share our hearts and what we are experiencing with the Lord) has grown and made our love and trust in each other stronger but more importantly it pushes us each to rely on the Lord more, give ourselves to Him more, and we can really pray with and for each other. I guess to people who have never known this kind of intense friendship it may seem strange, dull, or not even possible, but this is real! This is full life which we are created to live in, with each other, spurring one another on toward love (God Himself- 1 John 4:16) and good deeds (Hebrews 10:24).
So a few weeks of just hanging out and then six of us from Chesapeake went to Windy Gap for summer staff! The three weeks we were there were...I don't know, I can't pick a word. Life-giving. I was the "craft girl" and what a sweet blessing that was. I got to see and experience the Lord transform kids' hearts throughout each week, they told me about their lives as I just helped them make bracelets and put feathers and beads in their hair. The whole time I questioned God, "Why me? There is no way that I have done anything to deserve this kind of fullness and joy," which I still believe is true. But after you step back and realize that Christ in you is attractive and people are drawn to Him in you, the pressure and the questioning just turn to holy resignation, a deep peace and confidence in the Lord's goodness and life in yourself. And then there is the freedom we have to actually tell people what is different about us- Christ in you! All three weeks I got unique opportunities to tell everyone that through my words, but mostly my actions. One of the sweetest opportunities was, of course, through music. How faithful He continues to be in loving me and loving others through my music. Andrew Ripp was the "special music" artist for our session. Long story short, I was blessed to be able to sing one of his songs with him during club and for his concert once a week. The song is beautiful, it's one of those that gets stuck in your head every time you hear it. It talks about the pain in waiting to be completely immersed in Christ's love, learning how to live in that freedom, and embracing our "chosenness," as Henri Nouwen calls it. It's called "In the Shallow" you can watch a video HERE (thanks Meesh!) It was incredibly humbling, and encouraging at the same time, to be apart of something so powerful as Andrew's music. It was a much anticipated challenge learning how to give God the glory in each "performance." I experienced freedom from it being a performance, and solely giving it to God in worship, to use for His glory, not my own. That has been my prayer since I began performing and it was sweet to see the Lord honor that prayer.
Gosh, I learned so much at summer staff. I really wrestled to explore His goodness and sovereignty, my insecurities and fears, pride, and knowing my worth in Christ. I was loved so well; not boasting in myself because I do not deserve the kind of love I received, but it was Christ in others loving and feeding Christ in myself. I was continually encouraged by the girls in our "real talks" and working, crying, hysterically laughing together, and praying for and affirming each other. I was also so blessed and encouraged to see guys who love the Lord love and respect me as their sister in Christ; nothing more, nothing less. That was huge for me. By His grace alone, the confidence and freedom I have in who I am (the Beloved daughter/sister/bride/ambassador of Christ) has finally begun to transform me. I was just loved so well. Thank you. Christ in others, loving Christ in me, loving Christ in others. How can we find life in anything else?
Sorry I'm not done. Psalm 51 was the most faithful scripture to me during summer staff. It is the Psalm that David wrote after he slept with Bathsheba- it was in his raw suffering that these beautiful words came to life. Oddly enough, the most significant aspect I took away from the Psalm is hope and joy. Verse 8 says, "Let me hear joy and gladness; let the bones you have broken rejoice." One of Young Life's staple songs is Amazing Love, in which the last line is "It's my joy to honor you. In all I do, I honor you." I have a vision of this cycle in my head that displays my joy, which comes only from honoring Him and in turn, I must honor Him to know true joy. I hope that makes some sort of sense. Trusting Him to gracefully, yet authoritatively, break my bones (the things on which I rely that are not Jesus) and then rejoicing in that? That sounds ludicrous, but that is the kind of suffering Jesus brings healing and power through (Philippians 3:10) and I learned that embracing that is life-giving. Living to honor Him is joy, joy in my brokenness, and that my joy from honoring Him is healing.
I also was blessed to take kids from Chesapeake to Rockbridge last week. What an unexpected blessing it was. It was very last minute and this year I was a little more hesitant to say yes. I had no time to pray about it or for the girls I would be leading and I was just stressed. I read the story of the Rich Young Ruler in Mark 10 and it came alive to me. This man had everything the world and our flesh says we need- money, authority, and a good reputation. In a lot of ways I feel like a rich young ruler- I have everything set up for success, I have friends, family, money, etc. Verse 21 says, "Jesus looked at him and loved him," not because he had "kept all the commandments" or because he was rich and in good standing with the world, but because He missed him and wanted to show him that He could give him true, full, real life! Then it says Jesus told him he had everything but was missing one thing. I have never known what that one thing was until last week- TRUST, self-abandon! He says He is "the way, the Truth, and the life," (John 14:6) but if we don't trust Him, how would we know that? I realized that I needed to trust Him with the week, that changed everything for me. The camp trip was still incredibly difficult, but the more I trusted Him to give me words, to give me energy, to give me love and strength, the more life I found in Him. Kids from Chesapeake met Christ and have begun to explore His love for each of them...it was a good week! He is faithful.
I am praying to live in the awe of His glory every day, that His transfiguration is made new in me each morning. His love for us is fresh! Summer is a beautiful time, especially here in #sweetsweetchesapeake.
Sorry I'm not done. Psalm 51 was the most faithful scripture to me during summer staff. It is the Psalm that David wrote after he slept with Bathsheba- it was in his raw suffering that these beautiful words came to life. Oddly enough, the most significant aspect I took away from the Psalm is hope and joy. Verse 8 says, "Let me hear joy and gladness; let the bones you have broken rejoice." One of Young Life's staple songs is Amazing Love, in which the last line is "It's my joy to honor you. In all I do, I honor you." I have a vision of this cycle in my head that displays my joy, which comes only from honoring Him and in turn, I must honor Him to know true joy. I hope that makes some sort of sense. Trusting Him to gracefully, yet authoritatively, break my bones (the things on which I rely that are not Jesus) and then rejoicing in that? That sounds ludicrous, but that is the kind of suffering Jesus brings healing and power through (Philippians 3:10) and I learned that embracing that is life-giving. Living to honor Him is joy, joy in my brokenness, and that my joy from honoring Him is healing.
I also was blessed to take kids from Chesapeake to Rockbridge last week. What an unexpected blessing it was. It was very last minute and this year I was a little more hesitant to say yes. I had no time to pray about it or for the girls I would be leading and I was just stressed. I read the story of the Rich Young Ruler in Mark 10 and it came alive to me. This man had everything the world and our flesh says we need- money, authority, and a good reputation. In a lot of ways I feel like a rich young ruler- I have everything set up for success, I have friends, family, money, etc. Verse 21 says, "Jesus looked at him and loved him," not because he had "kept all the commandments" or because he was rich and in good standing with the world, but because He missed him and wanted to show him that He could give him true, full, real life! Then it says Jesus told him he had everything but was missing one thing. I have never known what that one thing was until last week- TRUST, self-abandon! He says He is "the way, the Truth, and the life," (John 14:6) but if we don't trust Him, how would we know that? I realized that I needed to trust Him with the week, that changed everything for me. The camp trip was still incredibly difficult, but the more I trusted Him to give me words, to give me energy, to give me love and strength, the more life I found in Him. Kids from Chesapeake met Christ and have begun to explore His love for each of them...it was a good week! He is faithful.
I am praying to live in the awe of His glory every day, that His transfiguration is made new in me each morning. His love for us is fresh! Summer is a beautiful time, especially here in #sweetsweetchesapeake.
